So I’ve been reading body language for dummies and I wanted to re-examine and scrutinize the first chapter.
The first few pages were about how we transmit messages unconsciously. Paul Ekman developed the Facial action coding system which measures describes and interprets facial features. It detects what the naked eye can’t and is used by law enforcement agencies, film animators and researchers of human behaviour. You’re probably thinking how much information can we give unconsciously and how much is picked by this coding system. We’ll the answer is quite a lot. There are a lot of things that been excessively observed over the years such as our posture hand movements and facial features. a study was done in the university of California , Los Angeles (UCLA) of how messages are received and how we respond o them. It showed that when a incongruity exists between the spoken word and how you deliver to it, 7% of messages is conveyed through words, 38% through vocal quality, and a whopping 55% comes through gestures, expression and gestures.
I jotted down a few observational facts that we can use to analyse people and their personalities. The first one is when people feel uncomfortable or insecure place an object in from of them and use it as a protective shield. If I was doing a presentation and was feeling unconfident and you spotted a notebook in my hand it would be used in front of my body. So, let’s say the presentation had come to an end I would be answering the questions holding the notebook in front of me with both hands approximately 4-8cm away from my body. If you find yourself doing that in any circumstances, change your position. Most perceptive and observant people will pick up on it and it doesn’t send a positive message. The second was how our body position and the way we sit. When sitting in a place where you’ll be observed and analysed do not sit with one leg over the other. Most people find it comfortable but what most people also fail to realise the message they portray. When sitting with one leg crossed over the other the impression is given that you are holding back and laid back, which also comes across as reserved. When standing you still shouldn’t stand with your legs crossed which is formally known as the “scissor position” which also gives off the same impression. A person who sits which both legs close together in front of them is known to be dominant and active.
Thirdly, hand movements. If you feel passionately about something and would like people to take attention hand movements are essential. Hand signals reflect your desire for your messages to be taken seriously. People who use their index finger to stroke their head or under their nose, in order to trigger memory reveals lack of security. Placing your finger on the lip indicates that you’re keeping something from coming out. If someone is feeling anxious they may be fiddling with keys ring or at pull at clothes. People who twirl their hair are seen as dreamers. Remember it is up to you how you would like to be perceived. Words convey information, gestures reveal attitude.
Fourthly are universal gestures. Smiling is a universal gesture and you are highly experienced as we do this 10 times a day on average. How do you spot a fake smile? When the sides of the lips are turned up and the eyes crinkle on the outer edge that is a genuine smile. Shrugging is a gesture that people use when they need to protect themselves. The shrug can indicate indifference, disdain, unknowing or embarrassment.
The behaviour you adopt and the gestures that you make leave an impression. Adopt, exhibit and display.
Cory Grant- “I pretended to be someone I wanted to be until I became that person.”
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