Accepting yourself

The early years of my life were a subject to scrutiny as my skin colour wasn’t considered a norm. At an early age you wouldn’t acknowledge vast differences in culture, skin tone, religion, race etc. You would think you are all the same as you are the same age and specie. Apparently not! In my first year of junior school we were given a task to colour a picture of a hand which matched our skin tone. Our table seated four, majority of white and a minority of other races. Before attempting the task I first observed other students who attempted the task confidently and articulately. The white children self-assuredly picked the colour peach and the Black children picked dark brown colouring pencil. I then made the conclusion that I didn’t have a dark brown skin tone therefore I used the peach colouring pencil. I was almost done colouring in the picture when my white teacher stormed over to the table and told me I hadn’t correctly picked the appropriate colour. She picked out a dark brown and told me that colour matched my skin tone. I evidently have a Middle Eastern skin tone which may be mistaken for a dark brown, but is actually a light tan/olive skin tone.

From the day onwards I had an obsession with being a lighter skin tone than the one I had. Obviously there isn’t a Crayola colour pencil designed to match my skin tone or anyone’s skin tone for that matter. In my head the only question would follow through a daily basis was “Am I that dark?!” Many years passed on I still had an obsession to be a lighter skin tone and I only now remember how that came about. Most Middle Eastern females use bleach to lighten their skin alongside a lighter tone of foundation. Another example of media bringing to our attention what skin tone is socially acceptable. L'Oréal on which is the leading beauty brand may have women of different nationalities representing their products, yet they fail to make a suitable skin tone coloured products of the Middle Eastern advantage. I, on the other hand am still looking for that skin colour tone that matches my skin on the days where I have odd yet awkward breakouts but other than that I am comfortable in my skin. I found that trying to be a lighter skin tone was trying to be a different race. My skin tone plays a philosophical part in who I am and what I am.

Do you think having a lighter skin tone makes you socially acceptable?

Analysis of body language for dummies: The eyes have it- chapter 5

Signals sent with eyes play a vital part in revealing your thoughts and attitudes. The eyes are a gate way to your soul and reflect what’s going on inside of you.  Some people instinctively know how to use their eyes to their own advantage to garner sympathy, convey sexual interest or to deliver the message “stay away.”  With practice your eyes can speak messages you shouldn’t say. You discover how to use your eyes to demonstrate dominance, display interest, show disapproval.

The held gaze has shown to be extremely powerful. Establishing and maintaining comfortably with another person can be the basis for successful communication, giving you and the person you’re communicating with a feeling of wellbeing and trust. But sometimes eye contact can be uncomfortable, such as when the other person seems dishonest, untrustworthy or angry. Whether the interaction is comfortable or not has to do, in part with that way that person looks, or doesn’t look at you. The intensity of time she holds the look she holds you eye influences the meaning of the gaze. Individual’s pupils dilate when they are interested or attracted and are constricted when they may be feeling anger or hostility towards another individual.
You can demonstrate interest in what you’re doing or saying by fixing your gaze directly on the person or object you’re addressing for slightly longer than you normally do. The length and direction of your gaze can tell whose paying attention. Research shows that when westerners interact they look at one another on average 61% of the time.  The speaker looks at the listener between 40-60%of the time and the listener looks at the speaker 75% of the time. If someone looks at you more or less than usual something’s going on that’s impacting their response. When you want to build rapport with someone research shows that you need to meet that person’s gaze between 60-70% of the time. What about shy, timid people who find eye difficult? No matter how genuine, honest, and dedicated they are, by struggling to maintain eye contact they send out signals of prevarication and doubt. The more you get use to looking at another person in the eye the more confident and trustworthy you appear, and the more rewarding you’re interacting is likely to be. Confucius said “Look into a person’s pupils. He cannot hide himself.” It is said the reason the Aristotle wore dark glasses when negotiating business deal was to prevent his eyes from revealing his thoughts. 

By allowing your eyes to wander over your targets face and body you are showing that you are attracted to that person. Often gaze alone can indicate displeasure. Beady little eyes, snake eyes and shooting daggers with the eyes are sure signs of disapproval or disagreement. If you find some looking at you with a fixed gaze for more than a few seconds when their pupils are constricted I can assure you are in disfavour. People in position of dominance use eye contact confidently, because they are sure of themselves their eye movements tend to be slow and smooth. They’re comfortable looking at another person for an extended period of time, being careful not to stare which would make them look slightly mad or rude. Those in control of the interaction demonstrate their dominance by choosing when and how long to look at the other person.  Clinton’s gaze- people who have met bill Clinton report that he has a way of looking at people that them feel not only important but that no one matters at that point. He uses his eyes to engage his listener by letting his gaze scan slowly across the other person’s eyes and face as he speaks. The listener feels that none else is in his vicinity and that she is totally the object of his attention. If you slightly narrow your eyes you are perceived as dominant, strong and in control. Donald trump is a master of the beady-eyed glare.

If you find yourself disagreeing with someone and you would want to make your point hold the eye contact slightly longer than you would normally. Without saying a word you leave no doubt that you are to feeling dominant and shouldn’t be taken seriously. If you want to come across as a person who means business, focus on the triangular between the eyes and the centre of the forehead. As long as your eyes remain in that space and keep in control of interaction the other person reckons that you’re someone who means business. 83% of information is absorbed visually, 11% through audio channel and 6% through the other three senses.

Research in Pennsylvania found that in presentations that relied solely on the spoken word, 10% was retained. If you want your message across when you’re representing visual information during a meeting, you have to guide the audience’s attention to where you would like them to look with a pen or pencil. People tend to look at things that interest them and look away from things that don’t. The sideways glance with a smile shows interest. If the listener shoots a glance out of the corner of the eye combined with the action with downward eyebrow they are harbouring a critical dismissive or hostile attitude. If you think acting submissively is a weak or negative role to play reconsider. Acting submissively can often put you in a real position of strength and is sometimes the best way to get what you want.

When you’re excited more you blink more. Rapid blinking maybe due to normal stress, or when an individual is lying; when people lie their energy increases, and when concocting an answer to difficult questions their thinking process speeds up.

Body language for dummies analysing facial expressions: Chapter 4

Facial expressions exert a powerful control over the type and amount of communication between individuals. Open facial gestures in which your eyes are engaged, your mouth is relaxed, and your head is tilted with interest are safe and inviting. Make sure your facial expressions are open and match your verbal expressions. When people want to void expressing what’s going on inside, they create the opposite facial expression with their pliable facial muscles and skin which indicates that they are masking their emotions. A jutted jaw and protruding eyes indicate anger and annoyance.

People respond positive to positive behaviour. Facial displays of genuine unadulterated, free-flowing happiness can’t be missed. When you’re experiencing pure joy your eyes involuntary twinkle, the laugh lines at the outside corners of your eyes deepen, your cheeks raise and as your lips pull up at the sides and separate you expose your pearly white teeth. Insincere smiles are easily spotted. You need more than a pulled back lips showing off your pearly whites to convince someone your feeling happy. If your eyes aren’t engaged with your mouth-that is if your lips are pull back in a smile and your eyes are dull, listless or averting the other person’s gaze- you’re sure to be spotted as insincere. To spot a genuine smiles look at the fleshy part of the eye between the brow and the eyelid. If it moves downwards and the end of the eyebrow dips slightly, the smile is for real.  

Someone’s who feeling blue has facial features that are slack and sagging. Their eyes are dull and lifeless and the sides of their mouth are probably cast downwards. Lips frequently tremble when someone experiences feeling of grief or sorrow. Disgust and contempt can be shown in varying degrees, but the general look involves the mouth grimacing while the eyes narrow. The nose wrinkles, the chin drops or lifts a fraction and the head turns slightly to the side. Expressions of fear and surprise are closely connected. In both expressions the eyes widen and the mouth is opened. The differences are subtle and found primarily in the attitudinal shape and position of the eyebrow, eyes and mouth. An expression of surprise unlike a fearful expression is open and colourful. From the whites of your eyes and teeth to the redness of the inside of your lips and your mouth, which you expose as your jaw drops, a person can tell you’re genuinely surprised. When you’re surprised or startled your eyebrows shoot up in an arch and, horizontal wrinkles appear across your forehead. The whites of your eyes become more noticeable as your eyes widen and jaw drops leaving your mouth in a slack position.  When you’re full of fear your eyebrows rise and pull together in a crooked curve. The centre part of your forehead wrinkles and, while your upper eye-lids rise exposing the whites of your eyes, your eyelid becomes tense and rise too.  

Showing interest- you tilt your head in a certain direction and nod in agreement, eyes widen taking the information in and mouth may be slightly opened. The open position indicates interest. Whether, the interest is romantic, intellectual, spiritual or just plain friendly. The eyes are engaged the head may tilt or nod and the body leans forward as if getting immersed in the subject.  

Body language for dummies: analysis and scrutiny of using your head to display power -chapter 3

How you place your head indicates whether you’re being aggressive, flirtatious, or are bored to distraction. People with power or authority position their head in ways that reinforce that power. Lift your head and tilt it backwards, and you convey a sense of superiority. Raise your head and thrust your chin forward and you send off a message don’t mess with me. If you find yourself feeling blue, lift your head in an upright position and you’ll sense your mood shift from low to high. The look of a raised head, forward thrusting chin, tilted angle and downward gaze implies arrogance; the underlying message is one of defensive posturing.

The headshake is the most common way to express a negative reaction. The head shake has two deliveries. If the listener shakes her head rapidly saying that she disagrees and wants to take over the speaker’s role. The slow shake implies that the listener is comfortable in her position and doesn’t want to take over from the speaker.
When you want to attract someone’s attention, be a potential lover, or a helping hand, and a shout or a wave would be an unsuitable choice, the head beckon is an effective gesture. This head movement is a diagonal backwards throw and may be repeated several times depending on how urgent your requests.  Touching someone on their head indicates an intimate gesture, implying trust and a deep bond between the two. It also demonstrates ones power over the other. Kissing one on the head indicates ones protective attitude or approval. The initiator implies ones superior position to the receiver.  

The strength of the nod-the degree of the up and down action-communicates the listener’s attitude. If she agrees, the head nod is a firm action. A slight nod provides feedback to the speaker letting her know how well her message is understood. The head tilt or cant is used when people are listening attentively. Although men tilt their head in an upward movement, mostly as a sign of recognition, women tilt their heads to the side in appeasement and as a playful or flirtatious gesture. When a woman tilts her head she exposes her neck, making herself look more vulnerable and less threatening.  This theory may lack validity as this could have been a male’s notion whereas females would view this as unethical.  The head tilt indicates that what you are saying doesn’t need to be taken seriously. Whereas, if you were saying something important; you would keep your head upright.

When a person is thinking she may even bring her hand to her face, put her chin into her palm. This gesture indicates that the person is thinking what to do next. If he person thinking pulls her body away from the other individual the thinking is critical, cynical or negative in some way towards the person who’s speaking.  

Non verbal gestures-Analysis and Scrutiny of Body language for dummies- Chapter 2

Well I’m back with my analysis of the second chapter. This chapter is mainly focused on spoken language was evolved from gestures. Charles Darwin concluded that humans’ ability to express emotions, feelings and attitudes through posture and gesture stems from prehistoric apes that most resemble today’s chimpanzees.

Research into primate’s behaviour concludes that non-verbal behaviour including gestures and facial expressions is a reliable source for conveying messages. At first language was nonexistent, spoken language evolved from gestures. Language has been part of human communication for 500,000- 2,000,000 years. Although humans’ ability to communicate effectively has evolved with the development of speech, body language continues to be the most reliable source for conveying attitude, feeling and emotions.  

An American anthropologist Birdwhistell labelled a form of communication “kinesics” as it relates to the movement of the body part or the individual body parts. He classified kinesics in five different categories, emblems, illustrations, affective display, regulators and adaptors.  Emblems are non-verbal signals with a verbal equivalent. They are easily identified because they’re frequently used in specific context e.g. the middle finger which usually is a form of curse words, the v shape which symbolise victory. Illustrators create visual image and support the spoken message. Example, holding your hands apart indicates size. Affective displays tend to be movements, usually facial gestures and displaying specific emotions. It can be expressions of love, frustration or anger. Regulators are body movements that control and adjust and sustain the flow of conversations. Frequently relied on to feedback how much of the message was understood. E.g. head nodding and eye movement.

Inborn responses are specific to the stimuli and require no practice or knowledge are performed unconsciously, unprompted and without self-analysis. Like a newborn baby crying or laughing.

Learned gestures, there are many forms of learned gestures such as discovered, absorbed and taught. Discovered actions are learnt during the growing up process. As you become familiar with your body you unconsciously discover you are able to do this.  Absorbed actions are learned by imitating others. Humans are imitative characters, easily influenced by the action of others especially if they are considered to be of higher status. Trained actions are learned through practice such has a handshake or winking. Refined actions are several categories of actions that influence much behaviour you perform in your adult life. Such as crying or sitting with your legs crossed.

You simply need to be aware of and understand gestures some you make and some you see.

Re-examining and scrutinizing Body language for dummies chapter 1

So I’ve been reading body language for dummies and I wanted to re-examine and scrutinize the first chapter.

The first few pages were about how we transmit messages unconsciously. Paul Ekman developed the Facial action coding system which measures describes and interprets facial features. It detects what the naked eye can’t and is used by law enforcement agencies, film animators and researchers of human behaviour. You’re probably thinking how much information can we give unconsciously and how much is picked by this coding system. We’ll the answer is quite a lot. There are a lot of things that been excessively observed over the years such as our posture hand movements and facial features. a study was done in the university of California , Los Angeles (UCLA) of how messages are received and how we respond o them. It showed that when a incongruity exists between the spoken word and how you deliver to it, 7% of messages is conveyed through words, 38% through vocal quality, and a whopping 55% comes through gestures, expression and gestures. 

I jotted down a few observational facts that we can use to analyse people and their personalities. The first one is when people feel uncomfortable or insecure place an object in from of them and use it as a protective shield. If I was doing a presentation and was feeling unconfident and you spotted a notebook in my hand it would be used in front of my body. So, let’s say the presentation had come to an end I would be answering the questions holding the notebook in front of me with both hands approximately 4-8cm away from my body. If you find yourself doing that in any circumstances, change your position. Most perceptive and observant people will pick up on it and it doesn’t send a positive message.

The second was how our body position and the way we sit. When sitting in a place where you’ll be observed and analysed do not sit with one leg over the other. Most people find it comfortable but what most people also fail to realise the message they portray. When sitting with one leg crossed over the other the impression is given that you are holding back and laid back, which also comes across as reserved. When standing you still shouldn’t stand with your legs crossed which is formally known as the “scissor position” which also gives off the same impression.  A person who sits which both legs close together in front of them is known to be dominant and active.

 Thirdly, hand movements. If you feel passionately about something and would like people to take attention hand movements are essential. Hand signals reflect your desire for your messages to be taken seriously. People who use their index finger to stroke their head or under their nose, in order to trigger memory reveals lack of security. Placing your finger on the lip indicates that you’re keeping something from coming out. If someone is feeling anxious they may be fiddling with keys ring or at pull at clothes. People who twirl their hair are seen as dreamers. Remember it is up to you how you would like to be perceived. Words convey information, gestures reveal attitude.

Fourthly are universal gestures. Smiling is a universal gesture and you are highly experienced as we do this 10 times a day on average. How do you spot a fake smile? When the sides of the lips are turned up and the eyes crinkle on the outer edge that is a genuine smile. Shrugging is a gesture that people use when they need to protect themselves. The shrug can indicate indifference, disdain, unknowing or embarrassment.

The behaviour you adopt and the gestures that you make leave an impression. Adopt, exhibit and display.

Cory Grant- “I pretended to be someone I wanted to be until I became that person.”

Abnormality

We’ll I thought I’d stop to observe the behaviour of others whilst I was on my journey to my local mall, only to discover the town is filled with crazy people! I was reading this insightful psychology book called “Body language for dummies”-Elizabeth Kuhnke. I was learning about involuntary gestures and how our body language conveys messages. Keep in mind this information was covered in the first four pages, and that this book is enlightening and will make you discover your love for psychology all over again.

 So, where was I... ok, so I’m reading my book and there’s this man sitting behind me his exterior screamed normal, sophisticated and came across as an intellectual. This may have been an involuntary gesture but every time he “coughed” or shouted or whatever it was it sounded like he was in pain. I would turn around and he was tranquilly reading his book. I had to turn around a few times to make sure I wasn’t mistaking him for someone else. I may not know all the medical terms to define the characteristics he suffered from but that was the first time I’ve observed such abnormal features. When I was done reading and taking notes I went to grab a bite to eat. I was in the mood to eat cheese burger and fries, I was innocently sitting there munching on my chips and noticed that the lady sitting in front of me got up and headed towards the door. She went over towards the door and starting moving her arms in such a motion as if she was watching an entertaining match and the team she supports was winning. Again I thought she was a typical Chav waving at her friends in such an abrupt manner. Then this behaviour became consistent, at that point everyone in the room had something to bond with, with one another. I then ran out hastily as the lady was approaching everyone. I then began to observe everyone’s behaviour and came to the conclusion that most people’s behaviour is irregular.

Abnormality, in the vivid sense of something deviating from the normal or differing from the typical (such as an aberration), is a subjectively defined behavioral characteristic, assigned to those with rare or dysfunctional conditions. Defining who is normal or abnormal is a contentious issue in abnormal psychology.

Normal is defined as “conforming to the usual standard, type, or custom.” This shows that there is no “normal.” Different cultures have different social norms therefore their usual standard varies. Individuals who have a high IQ such as 140 are known to be statistically infrequent; this is seen as an abnormality as it exceeds the usual standard. In other cultures it is “normal” to walk around nude, this deviates from our social norm as is therefore classed as an abnormality. The Failure to Function Adequately definition of abnormality defines whether or not a behavior is abnormal if it is counter-productive to the individual.

The main problem with this definition however is that psychologists cannot agree on the boundaries that define what is 'functioning' and what is 'adequately', as some behaviors that can cause 'failure to function' are not seen as bad i.e. firemen risking their lives to save people in a blazing fire. Deviation from Ideal Mental health defines abnormality by determining if the behavior the individual is displaying is affecting their mental well-being. As with the Failure to Function definition, the boundaries that stipulate what 'ideal mental health' is are not properly defined, and the bigger problem with the definition is that all individuals will at some point in their life deviate from ideal mental health, but it does not mean they are abnormal; i.e. someone who has lost a relative will be distressed, but would not be defined as abnormal for showing that particular behaviour.  On the contrary, there are some indications that some people require assistance to grieve properly.

We are all abnormal as we all deviate from the social norm in some way, such as individuals who are hyperactive, spontaneous, quirky or high maintenance.

Anecdote, Gossip & Scrutiny of individual’s content of character.

No matter whether your sleep deprived, overworked or exhausted, gossip and controversy are the only things that will stimulate our minds. We all love listening to gossip for many reason some being escaping reality and some of us simply don't have personal lives so we enjoy to gossip and lie to make ourselves feel better. Out of the two genders, females are most prevalent to gossip as it is seen as a form of female violence.

We usually like to assume the worst in people when we hear gossip, most of the time our main concern isn’t even how much the rumour backs soundness. What we should be paying attention to is the content of the character of the individual who spreads these rumours. Chances are that the person spreading these rumours are an arch enemy of the victim, consequently anything negative about the victim will be incorrect.

Respect is defined as “a feeling or attitude of admiration and deference towards somebody or something.” It can take years for someone to get to the top of the hierarchy where they are admired and looked up to. Rumours whether or not they are correct or incorrect can doubt and diminish the content of an individual’s character.

People who commence pitiable and malicious rumours have a questionable IQ, great minds discuss ideas. Before listening or even believing an anecdote scrutinize the rumour spreaders character and analyse why they came forward with this information to you. People are associated by the company they keep; chances are that the person who came forward to you believes you also have a questionable IQ. Unintelligent individuals give into rumours without taking into account two sides of the story.
People who commence pitiable and malicious rumours have a questionable IQ, great minds discuss ideas. – Mediocre Minds

“Rumours are like lightning on summer tinder, producing flames that dance in flickering brilliance from person to person, sometimes flaring in great conflagrations of exaggeration before finally extinguishing themselves in the cold waters of fact.”- Stephen Leigh, Speaking Stones

21 CANDLES

 

I still tremble at the thought of turning old. I think that'S one of my insecurity is that I still haven’t achieved what I desired to achieve at this age. From the age of eighteen, twenty one was my desired age for many reasons. The first was because of my sisters, they consistently made it “cool” to be that age. They are always immature, humorous, spontaneous and full of life. Sometimes looking back at the good times I can still hear a faint echo of laughter in the distance. Someone once said don’t be sadden because it’s over, smile because it happened. We can’t relive moment twice with the same adrenalin and laughter, what we can do is make new memories.  The second reason was because..aah well that was it.

I think last year hasn’t been the most productive but it certainly has been exploratory, entertaining and full of laughter. I believe that immaturity is a vital skill needed to survive no matter the circumstances, and we all need a clown in our lives even if it means stepping up to the job yourself. I would like to believe that a gained some wisdom this year as I’ll try my best to create more laughter and escapades.


One of my regrets is not taking enough photographs and capturing memories; but how can you live in the moment whilst trying to capture them. One birthday resolutions I wish to make is to repeat the following line “this wasn’t suppose to hap-pen!” occasionally when plans don’t go according to plan. To get what my resolution means you would need to get my sense of humour. Now I’m assuming that the people who read my blog get my sense of humour. So here the link! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laBgPOn7o-Y&feature=related (2.22) oh damn the line is “it just hap-pen-ed”

I know you hear old people say the following line but age IS just a number, believe it or not I still think I’m eighteen. :O Anyhow I can’t wait to:

• Dig in to my cupcakes courtesy of -hunnai           
• Read my Alan Sugar book “the way I see it” courtesy of- D.Swiss                                                     
• Inevitable laughter courtesy of –Khanni, Sunny and rrrr...lets call it Fitzy & Co.

        MUCH LOVE X

Desired Notions

We all would like to see change in the world, but we don’t comprehend that we have to be the revolution that we wish to see. Icons are representations of ideal characteristics one should have, but only a minority of individuals possess these desired qualities. Gandhi once said “you must be the change you wish to see.” I admire many qualities in certain individuals and wish I  could possess these characteristics.

The following list contains some characteristics that I do and would be fond of to acquiring. This may sound narcissistic BUT don’t act like you never had the same thoughts!

1)      Extremely intelligent as in joining the hierarchy with the likes of Einstein.

2)      Eloquent

3)      Graceful

4)      Stunning

5)      Shrewd

6)      Have entrepreneurial flair

7)      Kind

8)      Less antagonistic

9)      Humorous

10)   Adventurous

11)   Spontaneous

12)   Live life with no regrets

13)   Happy

14)   More confident

15)   Rational

16)   Scintillating

17)   Fun

18)   Live with no fear

19)   Free

20)   Optimistic

21)   Cocky

22)   Less envious

23)   Supportive

24)   Courageous

25)   Innovative

26)   Passionate

27)   Triumphant

28)   Witty

29)   Good role model

30)   Generous

31)   Forgiving as opposed to hating individuals with a passion!

32)   Remarkable

33)   Welcoming

34)   Talkative

35)   Fanatical

36)   Endearing

37)   Perceptive

38)   Modest

      39)   Entertaining

      40)   Unbiased
      41)   Cynical

After thorough analysis, I have discovered that certain individuals in my life restrain me from attaining certain characteristics; due to their nauseating nature...Someone has to set them straight!!

Preconceived notions

We are all unique regardless of our differing race, gender, culture, DNA, finger prints and religion. One thing that we all have in common is our misconceived notions about people. We mistake young teenagers for troublemakers, Sociopaths for friends, White people for racialists, Blacks for Murderers, gangsters and thieves; along with now most Middle Eastern people for terrorists!

It’s disgraceful how we like to see the worst in every individual. Where do our notions come from and are they bias? Of course they are bias, the only way our notions would back validity is if we were to have a bad encounter. We as humans are easily influenced and our manipulation comes from our parents/Guardians who brought us up. Their bias misconceived notions rubbed off on their children in a form of classical conditioning.

Classical conditioning is a technique used in behavioural training and is learnt by association. The Little Albert experiment is insightful in a way as it shows how notions are conditioned.  Around the age of nine months, Watson and Raynor exposed the child to a series of stimuli including a white rat, a rabbit, a monkey, and masks they then observed the boy's reactions. The boy initially showed no fear of any of the objects he was shown. The next time Albert was exposed the rat; Watson made a loud noise by hitting a metal pipe with a hammer. Naturally, the child began to cry after hearing the loud noise. After repeatedly pairing the white rat with the loud noise, Albert began to cry simply after seeing the rat. By observing the facts of this experiment we can see how our parent’s irrational fears and preconceived notions are manipulated in our mind.

It’s irrational to judge an individual on their race, gender, culture, nationality or social status. A majority of our notions which are based on our differing features will be inaccurate. The average person or shall I say a mediocre individual makes over twelve incorrect preconceived notions a day. As a final point it is immoral to pass judgement to an individual who hasn’t offended or harmed us based on their exterior, what counts is the content of their character.

“You are urgently warned against allowing yourself to be influenced in any way by theories or by other preconceived notions in the observation of phenomena, the performance of analyses and other determinations.”-  Emil Hermann Fisher

“I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.'… I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” Martin Luther King Jr.

The knowledgeable & the Recession

You all must have had big dreams about what your life would be like after college, university or any other form of higher education.  After putting in two or three years of solid work and effort you finally get a break, you’re free from exams and prolonged tension. The only thing that gets you anxious is the day you get your examination results.  For most that put in an honest effort get the result they desired, and for others they get as much as they put in. No matter what the result is it’s time to move on with the next chapter in your life, finding a job.

At first you wouldn’t know how to go about it, therefore you would ask a few friends for some helpful pointers. Create an up-to-date curriculum vitae of sound knowledge would be necessary, which requires some personal details, schools attended and certificates attained, hobbies and activities etc.  Subsequently followed by applying to positions where you think you are most knowledgeable and experienced. You then find that the first thirty to forty positions you applied to didn’t get back to you or that you were unsuccessful.

The economic climate contributes significantly to unemployment rising therefore getting your desired job is difficult. So after you are done digging your dignity you begin to apply to lower level jobs such as administration, retail or even telephone marketing.  Let’s keep in mind that you don’t have to be a genius to do these jobs. No,no,no,no, no!!...Apparently you have to be rocket scientist to get a less than mediocre job like these. It appears that if you don’t have the right “qualifications or skills” (stacking tins of food) you can’t work with their corporation. Now, call me an optimist but whilst reading the rejection letter the only question going through my mind would be “where could I get training go to gain these supreme shelf filling skills?” Not only would they physically, emotionally and mentally insult you and your “lack of skills,” but they consistently use the line “due to the high volume of interest in this vacancy, regrettably you have been unsuccessful.” Let me give you some synonyms of the word unsuccessful, “disastrous, ineffective and failed.” Call this intellect of a fellow mediocre mind but FUCK YOU!

Apparently I’m disastrous, ineffective and a failure because I didn’t meet your supreme tin stacking criteria! What the heck has the economy come to? How can anyone get their mind around the fact that it’s time for the uneducated college drop outs time to excel? I for one am mortified.  Who could have fathomed that there would be a time where education wouldn’t be appreciated?

When Britain officially announced that we were in the recession Chancellor Alistair Darling stated and I quote “It's difficult to see how we'll get that confidence with a Prime Minister who blames everyone else for the mess we're in and refuses to acknowledge any mistakes." That’s all fine and dandy but I don’t understand why all of the blame went on Gordon Brown. Let’s not forget Gordon Brown wasn’t even elected to be prime minister, the only reason he became prime minister was because Blair fled from his role due to the forecast of the recession. He left Britain on the brink of financial collapse when he stepped down, leaving Gordon Brown accountable.

Blair and other prime ministers like Cameron and Brown have worked extremely hard to get Britain to a point of no return. It’s exceptionally commendable, Bravo! Again, it’s nice to know our fellow “tin stacking” prime ministers are employed during these hard economic times, just like the people of their wavelength. I repeat once again, who could have fathomed that there would be a time where education wouldn’t be appreciated?

Remorse, Morality & The Sociopath

Remorse is defined as a “strong feeling of guilt and regret.” Individuals who commit vindictive and malicious acts are often perceived as showing no remorse. Is our notion of these individuals bias or is there an underlining issue?  Individuals who lack empathy, callousness and complete disregard for anything or anyone else other than one's selfish needs are commonly known as Sociopaths.

 Firstly to avoid classifying everyone as a sociopath you need to know how to identify one. You walk pass one everyday therefore identifying them is difficult. You mistake them for ordinary sane individuals but they often wind up coning the sane. If you are shrewd you’ll identify them from far-off, you’ll be able to see through their superficial charm and glibness. At first you’ll see how well they come across as an individual, they are usually perceived as charming and normal to everyone around them. Once you’re in too close they’ll attack in a subtle manner, you the victim will be blinded by their superficial charm; that you will refuse to believe that there may be any other person you would rather trust. (That’s impairment on their perception, but that’s a squabble for another day.)

The sociopath will charm their way into your life and heart, then take complete advantage of you - your emotions, your assets, and your intellect. They will make you think you are the crazy one. Your friends and family and anyone perceptive will see right through them.  They will isolate you from your friends and possibly your family through emotional and physical abuse. One complimentary aspect of sociopaths is that they are exceedingly persuasive, and will turn you against your loved ones for their own psychotic reasons.  

Remember a sociopath is incapable of real human attachment, once they have brought you to their side they will lie and show no remorse. They are pathological liars and will go to such an extent where they will use the name of their lord and loved ones name is vain in order to prove their innocence. To the sane individual this may come across as immoral but that’s what differentiates the sane and insane, morality. Occasionally they will try to mirror your emotions in order to relate to you, whilst engaging in their malicious ways. When confronted, they will deny any responsibility, then back away from you and blame you for whatever wrong they did. What is worse, everybody will believe them because they will be able to gain sympathy in a cunning and calculating way.

Remorse is a form of morality and is taught to a child at a very young age, these characteristics are dependent on the environment that they grew up in.  Therefore their inability to love another human being could be due to their parents neglect or absence.  

Sacrifice

  In French and Spanish its pronounced sacrificio, in Latin sacrificium, in German Opfer, in Farsi saekra fais and in Urdu, Turkish, Arabic and Hindi its known as kurban. Sacrifice is something we’ve all come across in our lives, even if we are a bystander. Sacrifice is what a mother makes for her child, a friend to its companion, or an individual to its religion. Sacrifice is defined as “giving up of something valuable or important for somebody or something else considered to be of more value or importance.”

One of the world’s most historic sacrifices is of Imam Husayn.  Husayn is an important figure in Islam as he is a member of the household of Prophet Muhammad. The main aim of Imam Hussein’s uprising was to prevent distortions of Islam by Yazid and to keep raising the flag of Islam but he was cruelly martyred along with his 72 companions by Yazids troop. Imam Husain took  his son Ali Asghar in battlefield to show the condition of 6 month old child without water. The tragedy was that in place of giving him water, Yazid showed no mercy and Ali al-Asghar was killed by Hurmala who shot an arrow that pierced his neck. The Tragedy and sacrifice of Karbala was no ordinary tragedy and Imam Husayn was no ordinary revolutionary for he was the grandson of the holy Prophet of Islam, Muhammad. For oppressed communities worldwide regardless of religion, gender or race, the tragedy of Karbala forms a model, a benchmark. Karbala signifies a lesson that human beings should never submit to tyranny, oppression and falsehood. Silence in the face of transgression is synonymous to the acceptance of injustice.

There is not a corner in the world that has not wept in the remembrance of Imam Husayn and his sacrifice for Islam. The tragedy of Karbala is a reminder not only for Muslims, but for mankind to rise up to seek positive reform in the face of resignation.

Regardless of religion, race and beliefs we should put our ignorant perceptions aside and marvel at this immense sacrifice.

 Thomas Carlyle, a 19th century Scottish historian said, "The best lesson which we get from the tragedy of Karbala is that Husayn and his companions were the rigid believers of God. They illustrated that numerical superiority does not count when it comes to truth and falsehood. The victory of Husayn despite his minority marvels me!"

  Mahatma Gandhi - Said: “I learned from Hussain how to be wronged and be a winner.”

Are our sacrifices merely significant compared to Imam Husayn’s?

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree

This phrase is almost certainly applied most often now to someone with obvious failings, the saying states the problem was simply passed along from parent to child. The notion is similar to the older 'Like father, like son,' and 'like mother, like daughter. Who are we to judge someone’s character due to their parent’s mistakes? Why do we have a stereotypical view that behaviour is inherent? 

Character is defined in the oxford dictionary as “the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.” We as individuals fail to realise that IQ and common sense are not innate. Look at the likes of Malcolm X who happens to be one of history’s iconic figures. Malcolm’s X’s father was outspoken, promiscuous and an alcoholic, but if we look at how Malcolm used these characteristics to his strength we all would be mesmerised. Occasionally negative aspects or individuals can help strengthen character. Malcolm used his father’s outspoken nature and neglect to his potency and fought for the rights for Black America.

What makes us unique is more meaningful than DNA and fingerprints. Character defines us as an individual, what we put in is what we get out. Our passion, vision, sincerity, ideas, ethics, spirit and wit defines us which outlines our character.

Who knows, it could have been a windy day when the apple fell far from the tree.

Introduction to Mediocre Minds

The word “mediocre” is defined in the oxford dictionary as “adequate or acceptable.” It is said that we use only 10% of our human brain, yet we have an unlimited capacity to learn. Therefore how much knowledge do we really have? Is our IQ leaning toward the left on a normal distribution scale, are we statistically infrequent or mediocre?

We all have opinion on everything. Some of us have very strong opinions. Others have not-so-strong opinions. And then there are those who say they have no opinion, which I presume is some kind of opinion. I believe that I am highly opinionated even if it means that I come across as passionate or erroneous.

My blog will feature many topics which I hope will form into discussions, so that you all can develop to be a fountain of knowledge as I....Did I mention I’m a tad narcissistic?